…of marriage was a bit difficult. My husband and I look back at that time and are so GRATEFUL to God for how far we’ve come in our marriage relationship.
I moved to another state to join my husband when we got married. I left my family, friends and everything I’d ever known. I added more responsibilities to my job. I sold my home, got rid of furniture, and got a bit lost along the way. I’ve heard that that first year of marriage is hard. It was very very hard.
You learn QUICKLY just how selfish you are. I realized I was very territorial about “MY” stuff. I missed MY condo. I missed my family and friends. I felt so alone. I wasn’t sure how to be myself around my new sister in law. I missed eating string cheese and crackers for dinner. I missed not “answering” to anyone. Writing this I’m aware that it sounds like I was miserable. I HONESTLY wasn’t! I was HAPPY with my husband. I was miserable with everything else. If I hadn’t married J who is a strong believer and a patient man I’m not so sure our marriage would have made it. Hey…just being real…
I felt guilty for leaving my family. I felt guilty for being so sad when I “should be” so happy. ...You get the idea.
At some points the easy thing would have been to go back “home”. BUT, “Home” was now a new place and a new life. And little by little with the leading of my husband things got better. I got to know people in my new town. I became genuine friends with a few. These are friends that I hold dear over 6 years later. J’s family embraced me as their daughter wholeheartedly and I’m so thankful. I don’t hold onto the guilt anymore. God has worked in my life so amazingly though my husband. He taught me patience and gave me unconditional “never give up when it gets hard” love. He let me cry and only tried to attempt to “fix it” a time or two.
Marriage can be hard but it can be beautiful. I am so indebted to my husband for standing and never ever wavering during the hard time I had at first.
My point in writing this is to give encouragement and to show how God can work though a spouse that’s so committed to God and his wife…oh and to say sometimes that first year isn’t all “wine and roses” and that’s ok.